panic attacks.

I hate when this happens. I woke up in the middle of the night, and was ready to just go back to sleep, but all of a sudden my heart started pounding, like it was fighting to get out of my ribcage. Then a wave of nausea hit that made me curl up in the fetal position and yell out for my mom. I couldn't really breathe, I could only really lay there and pray that it passed quickly. I could feel the blood rush through my arms like pinpricks and my head was lighter than air. The worst part was the fear. An implacable, but wholly palpable fear. All I could think about was how much I wished I was unconscious, so that I wouldn't have to endure all that panic and anxiety. I held on to my mom's hand so hard I could feel the blood pump through her veins. I had her put on some Bob Marley, which actually really calmed me down. This has happened before, but no matter how well I know the feeling, it always manages to turn me completely upside down. This one lasted way too long, in my opinion. I don't know what triggers it anymore, so I'm just going to hope and pray it doesn't happen again. I hate this…